What if the light at the end of the tunnel is a train?

I hate to be pessimistic, but sometimes it's hard not to be. It just seems like when I think I've got my "stuff" together something I do or have done creeps up and stings me again. Most of my issues stem from the fact that when it comes to the almighty dollar I seem to be unable to change my habits. I guess if you think about it, if it is like a dark tunnel with a light at the end, you're bound to trip over something once in a while before you reach the end. I think the secret is to continue to get back up. Not only to get back up but to keep right on going toward the light at the end. Maybe the tunnel is the journey. The things we trip over along the way are our sins, our earthly stumbling blocks.

After all it does say in John 18:12 "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

I see through the progression of this post that my God has comforted me. I went from feeling pessimistic about the world to understanding that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train... It is "The light of the world" Jesus Christ.

Charity?

The sun was shining, a light cool breeze blowing made it necessary to wear a sweatshirt. It was a good walk. Beautiful day and for a good cause. Never would I imagine that doing something as enjoyable as spending an hour or so experiencing our incredible lake shore could help out. The National Kidney Foundation had their fund raising walk today at Pere Marquette Beach.

It makes me think a lot though. Why do companies, or individuals do charity? Is it for the tax write-off? Is it to show a positive face to the public and friends and family? For that matter what do I do it for? I suppose there are people who would say, "So what if a company gets good publicity from donating to a given charity?". I guess to me it seems like if you get something in return it's no longer charity, it's a transaction. In Ephesians 2 verse 8-10 is says

"8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

And in Matthew 25:37-40

" 37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' "

We should be doing these things not for praise or for gain but because we are called to do them by God. It's just a Hollywood movie but in the film "Kingdom of Heaven" The main character Balian has a carving in the beam of his workshop that says "What good is a man who does not try and make the world better" (paraphrasing). I think when you read these verses from scripture it is quite apparent that it is true. We as Christians are called to make the world better. To help our fellow human beings, and not for gain or praise but just the shear fact that God gave us the ultimate gift of grace and forgiveness in his son Jesus Christ, and we owe it to him.

Father God be with us. Show us the way to live. We know we should follow the example set my your son Jesus. But we also know that because we are only human we will always fall short. Give us the direction and guidance to do what is right, and to do it for the right reasons. You have given us so many gifts God and I thank you for the opportunity to use what I have to give something to others. Please continue to put these opportunities in my path and keep my eyes open to what is needed in my community, my state, my country and even in this world. Be with Anne as she goes back to work tomorrow. Be with her and comfort her. In Jesus holy name I pray. Amen.

It's so Amazing

5 days ago there were only buds on the trees. 5 days ago there was a wilting tulip standing alone at the side of the driveway. 5 days ago there were large brown spots in the lawn. This morning I sit here looking out at a world where the buds have become broad green leaves. That lone tulip has been joined by what will soon be two groups of fiery orange lilies. The lawn is deep green and lush. This creation is so incredible. How could anyone look around at this Earth, watching how it grows and changes and sustains us and not fall to their knees and praise God? I know how... because I do it every day. I get busy with my "life" and all my hang-ups. I have to go to work, and I need to buy this or that. I wish I were stronger. I wish I were strong enough to keep Satan from getting a hold of me, from getting in the way of me praising my God. I spend my days with non believers, with fellow sinners who don't know of the love of Christ, yet my tongue is silent.

God gave me this incredibly wonderful creation in which to live. Gave me breath, sight, touch, taste, sound. Why can't I give him what he deserves from me? Why can't I tell others of his love, of his gifts?

Lord forgive me. I don't know how to be the man you call me to be. I see your world your people and I am in awe, yet I take it for granted. Thank you for the flowers. Thank you for the green leaves of the trees. Help me God, help clear my vision that I may clearly see the path you have made for me. Please be with Annie today as she has her first day back to work. God she is so incredible, such a blessing to me. I would give anything to ease her pain. Please be that ease today Lord. Hold her close to you. In Jesus holy name I pray. AMEN.

Little Pea

This was a good day. A day spent with my wife, sunshine all day. It's 12:30am and I'm wondering, wondering what's wrong with me.

We called it "Little Pea". A name given by my wife because of the first letter of our last name, and the website that sent her e-mails telling her the size and shape during it's development. My heart is so heavy. I can't explain it any better than that. Why haven't the tears come? It's like when you get that tickle and it keeps tickling but the sneeze never comes. The sneeze never comes so the tickle never goes away. Shouldn't I be able to cry? Would that make me feel better? Probably not.

Father God we are lost. With our earthly thoughts we have a hard time seeing past this pain. Please give us comfort. Please give us peace. We pray for Grandma JB. God be with her doctors and be with her. Let her know God that you are there, that you love her and please God I ask you to comfort her. Thank you Lord for Annie. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN

Little feet...

I was going to be a daddy, but I guess it wasn't in God's plan just yet. It's hard to keep my head up and keep moving , when all I want to do is sulk away to some dark place and cry myself to sleep. Feeling what I feel I wonder how much more my wife is feeling. knowing how much I hurt I wonder how she can withstand her pain. My tears haven't come yet. I wonder when they will, or if they will. Everyone in our lives has been incredible. Prayers flowing daily from everyone we know. Calls to see how we are doing, and if there is anything we need. What I need no earthly person could give me, answers.

One thing I'm finding out is that what happened to us is incredibly common. Knowing this doesn't help our hurting but it does show me that the people I know are a whole lot stronger than I ever thought possible. It's hard to believe how much good can come from something so bad. My wife has made connections with people that she never would have. Our relationship while pretty sturdy before grows closer through this.

When tragedy strikes a person you often hear things like "Why did God do this to me?" or "How could God let this happen?". The old stand-by of "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?". I guess I am of the mind that God has given us many gifts, life, love, the ability to make our own choices. We are called to have faith. Faith that God knows of a better place and has a spot picked out just for us. God knows that through the clouds and darkness new light can shine through. If he just stopped bad things from happening we wouldn't need to have faith, we wouldn't need to have hope. I just try and remember the story from the Bible. Jesus is met on the road by Martha I believe. When they meet she claims that if Jesus had been there her brother would not have died. Now Jesus knows of Heaven, and knows that death is not the end, yet he wept with her. He felt her sadness and held her and wept with her. I think it saddens God to see his people hurt, even though he knows of the greater good to follow.

Please God give me the strength to carry on. Be with Anne and hold her and comfort her. Show us the way Lord so that we can get through this hard time, and be with us as we look forward to the future. Come what may God you are holy, you are the way and the light. Thank you for our friends, and for our families. Thank you for the many gifts we recieve each day, and keep us mindfull that though we are broken, though we are sinners, we are forgiven and we will be whole through you. In your son Jesus' name I pray. Amen

The Journey Begins...

I don't have any idea what will become of this. I just feel like there are times where I need to get some things off my chest or to share something I'm feeling. I hope that through this maybe I can figure out who I am as a Christian man.

My faith is important to me and I'd like to be able to share it more. I'm afraid sometimes to let go and be that light that I'm called to be. What if someone doesn't like me because I love Jesus? What if I end up being an outcast and shunned by the people I try and share the Gospel with? I suppose God's answer to that would be "Do it anyway.". I spend a large part of my day with people who, I think if I were given the choice, I would chose not to spend my time with. But I think the New Testament story of Jesus teaches us that those are the people who we need to be reaching out to. I want to be a good disciple and show the world how awesome God is and how much better their lives will be if they would let him into their hearts and be saved...

God, you are a good God, a loving God, Compasionate and forgiving. Thank you for your grace, through which I have been saved, and thank you for your mercy, though I don't deserve either. Please walk beside me on this journey. Show me the way Lord so I may be righteous and good. In Jesus holy name I pray, Amen.