Changes

When I was very young I had crazy ideas of what was possible. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say, "Either a doctor, or a Muppet." I think this points to two specific ideals. In one the idea that becoming a doctor would be attainable. A profession that takes a great amount of intelligence, but also an incredible amount of time. Then there is the other option, Muppet. I wanted to learn and help people, and I had a vast imagination where the boundaries between reality and the world of make-believe were blurry.

As the years passed I went through all the normal things a young boy does. One day I wanted to be the center fielder for the Detroit Tigers, or win a national championship with the Detroit Lions. This evolved into being a Rock Star, the girls swooning as I belt out a ballad with screaming guitar solos and crashing cymbals. A race car driver who sails past all the other cars like they're standing still and ends each day in victory lane, car gleaming not a scratch on it.

This brings me to the present day. Gone are the days of wanting to be a doctor. No Muppet aspirations lingering. The realization that of the very small percentage of people on this earth who are good enough to play professional sports, I am not one of them. Present day desires are much different. These days I take a look at my life and want much different things for myself. I want to be a good husband, to do the things that will show the love and care I have for my wife. I want to be a good father, to have the knowledge, patience, and love to raise my children to be respectful, loving, patient, and humble. I want to be a good Christian. To know God and be able to share his word and love with my family, and the world around me.

My goals these days at face value might seem more low key. Maybe they don't seem as glamorous or so unattainable. The thing is though that doing these things, are sometimes the hardest of all. My selfishness, laziness and greed get in the way and make being this man that I strive to be a very difficult task. I am so blessed in my life to have the people that support me, and care for me even when I falter. God shows me, through them, forgiveness, and patience.

So I'll never be a superstar, but what I am working to be these days is far more rewarding.

Boy or Girl?

Ever since we found out my wife was going to have this baby people have asked, and I've sometimes thought about, if I want it to be a boy or a girl? Honestly I have definitely thought about it and go back and forth, never really settling on one gender specifically. I can see the benefits of having a boy or a girl.

With a boy I can think of all the things I could show him, teach him, about how to be a good man. The right way to treat others, and more importantly the right way to treat women. Play catch in the yard, do "man" stuff like work on the cars and lawn mowers and things like that. But at the same time I realize two things. One is that it's a bit sexist of me to think that our child would have to be a boy for me to do these things with them. If we have a girl or a boy they might enjoy playing sports and getting dirty working in the garage. They may enjoy art and music and love the out doors and want to go for walks in the park. We live pretty close to the beach so they will have ample opportunity to swim and play in the sun and sand.

There is a world of opportunity out there. As I grew up my parents never pushed me in any specific direction. I did many things through school, choir, band, sports, along with my academic pursuits. I have now become a young man who enjoys many different activities. I love playing sports. I love music and singing. I love taking walks and camping. I love to go into the city and explore. I feel that I am very well rounded when it comes to things of culture and what activities I enjoy. I hope to be able to pass that on to my child. I want them to be just as excited for a musical on a Saturday night, as they might be to go to, or play in a football/Softball/Baseball/Basketball game the night before.

So I guess to answer the question of which I would rather, boy or girl, I'd have to say that it truly doesn't matter to me. There will be many joys and sorrows, smiles and tears, no matter if the baby is a boy or girl. The adventure of raising a child will be filled with bumps, but it will be so amazing.

Here is to a healthy, happy baby. God give us the strength and guidance to raise the child to know you, to follow you, and to love you the way you already love them.

Hope and Faith

I've said it, you've said it. "I hope...". I hope I won't be late. I hope I'll get a raise. I hope we'll have a baby soon. I think sometimes we look at the word "Hope" and don't automatically connect it with the word, "Faith". But when you look at what hope is, really think about the meaning of the word beyond the dictionary definition. Where does hope come from?

If you've ever looked into the eyes of your friends and family you have seen hope, or the lack thereof. Hope is an outlook, a state of being. When you have hope in your heart you tend to be optimistic and happier. But again, where does hope come from? In a word... Faith.

It is my belief that you cannot have true hope without faith. You can go through your life and say "I hope" this and "I hope" that, but true hope is something more than this wish-like sentiment. True hope is something that is almost tangible. When your hope is based on faith it fills you, it becomes you. Hope displaces all the debilitating feelings like fear, despair, and sadness.

I have faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My hope is in him, that he will guide my heart and my life, that I may be a beacon of hope for others. For I know that if he is with me, who can be against me?